Posted in Change, Health, Humour, Men, sex

The Pork Pie Club

My husband and a friend have jokingly formed a group. A recent spate of friends and relatives having heart attacks and needing Coronary artery bypass and stents has finally meant my own husband has gone along for the health mot because of some shortness of breath and knowing he is at “that age”. The results have been alarming. As a result, he too needs cardio-vascular assessment and further tests. Anyway, we joked with his friend about all the lads getting together and forming a man’s health group. Come for a pint, a pork pie and talk about your cholesterol and heart attack. We all thought it was very funny in a serious way and this fictious group is now called the pork Pie club.

I said, “lets have an advert, a funny advert, slogan”. Then my mind got thinking. Let’s have a amusing poem on the blog site called the Pork pie club and this is the result of my prose and thoughts. See what you think. Very tongue in cheek and a little naughty in part.

 

When the arteries are clogged and your veins are a bog,

 then come and talk to the boys.

We’re the ones that care because we ‘re there,

come on fellas, we here for the beer,

the salami slobs that have no fear,

so come and join the Pork pie club.

 

No women allowed, this is boy ground only.

We talk about asprin and pills.

The tests and the pain, the girth and weight gain,

never to be so unfit and lame

The misses will never cook the same. 

so come and join the Pork pie club.

 

To swap our tales of needles and labs.

The embarrassing tales of razors and jabs.

The experience is real, almost surreal

as we succumb to tests which confirms the deal.

that life is going to change for real,

so come and join the Pork pie club.

 

You ‘re never alone as you join this band,

of carrot crunchers and lettuce in hand,

The diet is new and so are you,

No salt, little fat, it ain’t going to get any better than that,

That is tasty and new, let’s go for a brew,

so come and join the Pork Pie club.

 

When you want a shag,

and the misses does too,

but the brewers droop has come to you,

The raised bp means flop bot me,

do not despair, for the boys will care’

So come and join the Pork Pie  club.

 

 So take heart my friends and excuse the pun,

and let’s get together and have a crafty bun,

for life is not going to be such a bum,

of no fun, no frills, no spills,

we take the pills but have some thrills,

So come and join the Pork Pie Club.

 

                                                New members welcome.

Membership Fees:

One pint of beer,

One pork pie,

One asprin and a bottle of statins.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Author:

Committed to the education of children and the health and human rights of women and mankind. I also enjoy taking photographs and sometimes I write poetry.

2 thoughts on “The Pork Pie Club

  1. Very amusing. There ought to be a similar group for the relevant partners reflecting a change in the cooking habits – The Mackerel & Tuna Club?

    On the downside, I really, really miss pork pies, doughnuts, and fried bread. Whenever tempted I remember the mantra given by someone that I should regard them as ‘suicide food’ – and it helps long enough for me to run out of the shop. On the plus side, the bp tablets and stents have done wonders for shagging! 🙂

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