Global Giving Challenge. Tareto Maa.

I can’t quite remember where I first read about female genital mutilation/cutting,( FGM/C) otherwise known as female circumcision, but the whole horror of it touched me and stayed with me. I had to find out more. Time passed and nothing more had reached the surface for me. Looking back, I found the other day some personal writing I had made in 2005. A time of great divide, challenges and difficulties for the family. We were emerging from this phase of our lives. I had written, almost in prayer form, that all David and I wanted to do was to serve. This is the extract from my notes:

” Finally, it is my hope for the future that David and I, with our beautiful daughter, will go on together to find happiness, contentment, and fulfillment in what ever we do. There is a genuine need to serve, to do something and I/we are waiting to know what it is?”

In 2010, the waiting was over and the answer was given. We had already discovered Tareto Maa the previous year but contact had been scarce, due to internet connections and language barriers. Many of our friends will already know this story. I won’t repeat it here. But the impact of an e-mail, with photos of girls living within a grass-roots project setting caught our imagination, excitement, admiration and an urgent need to say, “yes, here it is in the flesh. This is the work we are meant to do”.

Now, in 2011, and a lot of water under the bridge, as us English would say, here I am again writing on behalf of our girls in Kenya for the Global Giving Challenge. I say our girls, not because we feel we own them, or for them to feel they owe us anything. We say “our girls” because they have become our responsibility and we take their welfare seriously. Along, with many others and you can read all about the project, they have been plucked from the horrendous consequences of FGM/C and given an alternative future. One based on an education, of being looked after, of being in a community of safety, shelter and what we now need, security for the longer-term.

That is why we are part of the Global Giving challenge. You can read about what this is all about with the link below. How it will help us, not only with donations, but by being on a wider world-wide platform. This gives us the publicity we need. Take a look at the groups linked on the webpage. The Kiva group  with over 700 members. This has been the work of Davids’ to spread the message of what we are trying to do. The link with betterplace has been vital- coordinated and managed by Armin Erkins, the European  hub of activity. Without him, none of this would have been possible. BUT, we acknowledge most of all, Gladys Kiranto- our founder and leader. It is through her vision and efforts that Tareto maa was born and the success of this whole project, transpired by her and her people. The project team who work 24hrs a day on the ground. Read about our refuge, the school building and the work so far.

I personally am so proud to realise a dream of helping these girls in this situation. This is my life blood and my passion. It is others too. Please help us and take a look at the webpage given below and give anything that you can as we approach Christmas. A traditional time of giving and sparing a thought for a charity you might wish to contribute to.

On behalf of myself, and the whole Tareto Maa team, we say a very big thank you. And the girls say the biggest thank you of all.

You are giving them a life!

See us here: http://goto.gg/9169 The Global Giving Challenge. It has begun today. And a great day to start. On our daughter’s birthday.

A very quick post about Tareto Maa

Hi, and thanks to anyone on twitter who have just seen our new account ftmfgm.

I need to explain briefly how this sites is going to work.

This has been set up specifically to communicate with the aim of spreading the word about the organisation and talking directly about it.

Followers are very welcome BUT we have decided that we want to filter out general tweets about this and that. Therefore, if we don’t follow back this is why. Please don’t be offended.

For example, Mr E does not want my tweets from cloudgazer to others and about what I am generally doing appearing on ftmfgm as this is not relevant to the groups work.

We wanted to create a platform where direct discussion about Tareto Maa can happen and to highlight the cause.

This may seem a very odd way of using twitter but we felt twitter had a place for this.

We also wanted a DM facility that people could use to ask questions. Currently, we are talking to two main people actively within this organisation for many weeks and hope they will join us and sign up to use Twitter.

I hope that explains what we are trying to do. Please do follow us and contribute directly to the group and we will reply back, but we may not neccessarliy follow many back. Even Mr E is not following Cloudgazer:-)

Hope my twitter friends will understand.

Joining In

I have loved reading Stephen Fry’s book Moab is My Washpot and have only about  70 pages to go to completion. I can identify so much with him, really I can. This blog isn’t a book review. I don’t doubt I will say more about this early autobiography in a later blog. No, this piece of writing is about identifying with the need to join in.

You see, like Stephen Fry, I loathed, despised, hated, dreaded PE or games, as I refered to it at school. For Stephen Fry there was one reason for this. He just couldn’t do it but so badly wanted to join in. For me there were two reasons. 1) Because I was a shinny runt and everyone, especially the boys, laughed at me and made me as their sport. 2) I, like Fry, was rubbish at it. Well, that was hardly surprising was it?

So all my life me and sports of any kind just never mixed ever, ever. This world belonged to others. How could I possibly fit in, join in? But then last year in a fit of what seemed then madness I decided to run for GEAR. Many of you know my journey and I am not going to bore with another blog about how it all started. I just want to share this.

I was training with GEAR last Wednesday. In the middle of the session, we had to pair up and do a 200 metre faster run around the track  three times. The baton was handed to me and the guy next to me realised, that he was going to be my partner given our position standing in the crowd.

” Looks like you got me then I said.”

I’m sure perhaps it was my imagination, but maybe not. I perceived the look of disappointment on his face when he knew that me, old slow coach, would mean we would likely come in last. No criticism here intended but it was horrible feeling. I was transported back to school and could see myself on the games pitch. How I hated those team games when I was never picked. My stupid, stupid school elected to select two people at random always to pick  the teams. I was never picked and ended up just filing in to which ever queue was left. How dumb was my school for thinking up that psychological downer. (It was even more cringe-withering when I had to pick a team as I knew no-one wanted to be in my team, never to join in with me).

The sports field can be a cruel world.

But I ran with him and ran my best, Of course, I came last into the first handover and as he was waiting  I said:

” Sorry, you have got me, the slow one “ 

I thought drat why did I say that. I am not apologising. I am here and I am trying. Many competitors are not here because they feel just as self-conscious as I do now and don’t come. DAMN IT , don’t apologise.

I did all the running and kept up.  On the last final excercise later, I passed someone and thought, I am not going to be damn well last every time. I felt brilliant at the end for doing  it all and the trainer said she should see how much more confident  I was.

So this time next week, I am going to be doing everything I trained for 10 months to do. GEAR is next Sunday, 10.30 and I am going to be as nervous as hell. But, I feel good because I truly believe that at last I can and am joining in. I belong now to the world of running. You can’t imagine how good that feels.

I am joining in. Iam ACTUALLY ABLE  TO JOIN IN!

Please consider giving to my Just Giving site and help me along  my 6.25 mile race. Many thanks.

The Tortoise and The Hare

 Today’s GEAR training had arrived and it was a lovely day for it at Sandringham. I felt nervous, not sure what to expect. There were about a dozen of us and then the trainers: nice people, really nice. We did a warm up on the blue pathway run first.

I could have become easily deflated after the first 30 seconds, people were running far ahead and it soon became obvious that I was last, would be running on my own, and at a tortoise pace compared to the speed of the hares. Even the new boy was up there with them. It was his first race too and he had only been training since Christmas and had already completed five 10k’s.

But then, the organisers are prepared to take on a little tortoise like me. Of course, it was done subtly but one of the organisers just happened to never run ahead, and as others powered away she stayed with me. It was obvious what she was doing and we chatted and she started to help me along. I put my positive frame of mind on and thought about what my body was telling me, that it was running and I wasn’t fagged and was doing it. I relaxed. Of course, I was way last and they all watched and some clapped as little me managed to get to the finish. It didn’t feel too bad though.

So our warm up was one and a half miles to two and it took 20 mins. That was the warm up then. What the hell was coming next? We did paces and marching and steps. Short sprints of a few seconds. I ran hard. I wasn’t going to be last every time and ran full pelt and was up there with them.

Then we did 500 metres sprints, or to run as fast as we could in a layed out circuit. The main instructor seeing how I had performed in the short run said I was only going to run this twice.  For the rest of them it was four times and I would start off with them, then stop and wait until the 3rd round. It was an absolute complete killer. Again, my lady just happened to be there with me. I did it in 3mins 22- we were all timed. I was then told to make it faster next time. Ok, I thought, I will try very hard.

The second lap felt easier, then got harder. I went over cold and thought I was going to be sick, a wave of nausea crept over me, this has happened before and I just pushed on, took a bend better and sprinted like hell at the end. My time was 3 mins 16 secs, 6 secs better. I was gasping at the end.

Then, God, this wasn’t over yet. We did a final cool down finish run. The same blue run. I thought, oh hells bells but I started off and tried not to think about it. Again, Diane, I knew her name and she mine by now, kept with me. This was the best bit. She helped me relax my tensed up shoulders, talked to me about shorts, to double knot my shoes. Also how to swing my arms, position my hands. Apparently, I have a flat, very heavy pace , making it hard on my joints. She taught me how I must roll my foot, heel first, then roll the rest of my foot into it. I got a better rhythm, kept my head up. This last session was the easiest. I had a rhythm by then. The dead legs had left me and I got to the finish.

I talked to Pauline, another trainer, about my next 2 weeks, which I can chat about later. I have never ever been put through such paces, realise that I have come so far and yet have much to learn and do. I felt so chuffed to think what I had managed to do though. It would have wiped me out just a few weeks ago.

I can’t wait for Wed training at Lynn Sport- circuit running, 2k and timed.

I said to Diana, that to see the finish line on race day would be a marvellous, wonderful site. She replied I would know it was there and see it long before it was there. You hear the noise and the cheers, well before the end. The sensation just pulls you in to finish. God, I am so nervous yet so excited. I can’t wait for the day to arrive.

And you all know what happened with the tortoise and the hare:-)

Keep wishing me luck.

Please consider sponsering me for my race by looking at the Just Giving site which will tell you more about why I am running and for whom. Many Thanks.

The Race is Approaching

   Not long to go now. I have now managed two 6 mile runs over these last two months. The pressure is on and the excitement, yet nerves increases.

Am I ready? Well, yes and no. Still 3 weeks for another final training haul and then that’s it. No more time left.

My aim is still to run without stopping. I will run until I drop before I stop. In my efforts I have trained and said silent mantra’s to myself. You might think a little silly but they do help. I have screamed at myself up gradients and pushed myself along when I have dead beat. My fav one is “I am Cloud and I can run forever”. For those of you who know me on Twitter my name is cloudgazer. 

I haven’t found it easy and still feel nervous when I set out to do a big run, thinking I can’t stop for another hour at least. My time to date for 9.89 K is one hour 16 mins. I have to finish the race in two hrs.

I am now really, really plucking up the courage to ask you all to sponsor me. You will be sponsoring me for this. That I will finish the race of 10K in two hrs. That my pledge is that I will do my level, level best to run, jog, crawl but not stop. If I can not run, I will fast walk, I will keep moving and get to the finish line.

Please, consider even a £1. I have trained for ten months for this and I have worked hard. Sometimes, things have got in the way and sometimes, yes, I have to kick myself to get out there, scold myself for being lazy. Yet, my determination to raise for my women’s charities has never been more sincere.

For those of you out there who wishes to eradicate Female Genital Mutilation support me. For those of you who wish to support a charity which gives tons of solid information for all kinds of women’s stuff, lists, organisations that supports the empowerment of women please support my other charity not listed on Just Giving, The Women’s Resource Centre.

Just Giving is unable to list my two charities, only FORWARD is listed. That is a bit of a disappointment, It would mean me having to set up another separate Just Giving Site and it would appear the Women’s Resource centre is not listed with them anyway. So this is what I am doing. I have a paper sponsorship form to for the East Anglian Run (GEAR) in King’s Lynn. So basically my aim is to collect my paper sponsors as well and divide the money as much as I can into two halves. I want to explain this to people. I don’t want to let the Women’s Resource Centre down. I am running for both, though the money from Just Giving will all be going to FORWARD

If anyone can think of a better way of getting round this please let me know. 

 This is my Just Giving Site and read a bit more about my story and why I am running on the 2nd May 2010

Thanks so much for reading and sponsoring me.

The Run for the Race

On Wednesday this week, I had a marvellous time and a challenge.

 I am training for the GEAR run in King’s Lynn on the 2nd May 2010. I have never been a serious runner- the last time I did anything like this was for a few weeks with some Norwegian nursing colleagues in 1982 while I was living in Oxford. But then back in May last year, I saw the Lynn News headlines about the 09 race and thought how great it would be to be a part of that. I thought about it for a while as I have women’s charities dear to my heart and I could run for them.

Having hit my mid-forties and having learned to swim-on my back at least the previous year, I took part in a sponsored swim for the local Special Care Baby Unit. I knew what a great feeling it was to do something new for yourself, that you have struggled with for years and to help other causes. ( I have never been a sports woman and the games and sports field bring back cruel and bullying memories for me).

By July of 09 I was sorely tempted to have a go at GEAR. But 10k, 6.25 miles is no mean feat and I knew the work and the training would have to be enormous. This was no few widths in a swimming pool doing back paddle for a few minutes.

I started off for 5 mins around my field while walking my dog and found the instant lift up and feel good factor. I enjoyed it and thought this could keep me fit. The previous year I had done a little running, as I was recovering from work-related stress, and found it to be helpful.

Soon I could run 10 minutes then 15 and then 20. My first mile seemed such a long way and a huge achievement. I had been spurred on by my twitter friends and one pledge alone from one contact made me realise people out there were kind and believed in me. That was it. I was doing it. I was running for GEAR.

In September, I then had a set back and have been struggling on and off ever since. More stress-related but non-serious physical and emotional sickness and pain  left me feeling sometimes too tired to run. Snow over Christmas delayed training by over 4 weeks, as the continuous ice, snow and raw cold left me feeling it was impossible. I felt  the task was not going to be achieved.

Work was becoming tough again and long-stretches meant that day training and having energy to night train was hard work. But I had the support of wonderful people and two active running mentors  who ran themselves. I didn’t want to let myself down or them, or my ladies’ charities whom I am running for. (I am running for FORWARD and the Women’s Resource Centre.) I had e-mails of advice, encouragement and sometimes the necessary kick up the backside from my mentor trainers. It was all kind but focused for me to achieve the objective.

However, I had revised my aims because of these hurdles. I would enter and if it meant I had to walk some of it, so be it. I was told it was ok to do that, just to get round the course and take part. Many people did it that way. I would tell people this and they would sponsor me on a smaller basis for it. I had to make it in two hrs so I had time to do it.

Sally suggested I do a trial run and walk, and for that I got  my backside off the sofa, managing a fab 4.51 miles in one Sunday afternoon in 60 mins, having run so little in seven weeks. We thought this would be a good way of knowing what 10k felt like.

The day for the run was perfect. There had been another covering of snow but it was definitely a go. The sky was sunny and blue. Sally was perfect for me that day. She did not put me under pressure but I knew there was going to be no easy cop-out either. She choose a run perfect for the required distance with new and varied terrain. There was grass, mud tracks, fields, roads, pavements and two slight but extended upward gradients. These really tested my endurance.

I tried to not to think about how well or how badly I was going to do. We chatted and ran, was quiet and breathed with concentration. I took my mind off it. She took my mind off it. I learned to slow my pace when it was getting tough, the hills were killers but she willed me up them. The down side seemed easy then. Once I had hit 4.56 miles I no- way wanted to stop. My legs were lead by then but I forgot about them and we were on the home straight anyway.

We finished in one hr 19 mins and had covered 6.07 miles, just under the 6.25 miles that makes up 10k. That feeling of having done it was fantastic. We drank Raspberry Voda and had Hot Cross buns and Assam tea. I still have just under three months left to train to make it easier, faster and reduce my time may be.

Am  I still going to stop now and walk? No way. I am going to run to the finish line. I know I can do it now. Competitor 237:  I registered last week, is going to do this.

And I could not have done it without my two special running mentors and special friends who have willed and helped me on. I owe them everything. Thank you so much.

And I will be carrying on running after the race. For me now, it is part of my life!

I Have a Serious Question or Two

This blog is not written as satire or for fun. It requires no photograph or pretty picture to accompany it. It is a serious, short discussion for Christians who may like to give an answer or two. As someone who had a faith for over 20 yrs, in various stages and intensity, and who now feels that her own faith is pretty much dead. I need to ask these questions to my blog audience.

  A polite and reasoned reply is expected. I am not attempting to be-little or to remove anyone’s personal faith, in what ever way that is felt or expressed. Just trying to make sense of the thoughts I now ponder over on a daily basis. I have Christian friends who I have the highest regard for. This is not to offend them.

At my wedding my favourite  hymn was sung, ” What a friend we have in Jesus.” You see Jesus, the Son of God was my friend. He was there to turn to, to pray to, to be comforted and protected. He had my best interests at heart. He was a supporter of women and did not cast out Mary Magdalene, the prostitute, or the divorced women at the well. He understood me and did not judge me for all the mistakes I had made. He was a supporter of women. And Jesus was not separate from God: because he was God.

My friends know I am a passionate supporter for the human rights of man, particularly women’s right and this is my first question?

Did God inspire, move men to write Deuteronomy 22:13-21 as is quoted here. If so, I don’t like what God has to say.

If a man takes a wife and, after lying with her, dislikes her and slanders her and gives her a bad name, saying,” I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof of her virginity,” then the girl’s father and mother…. shall display the cloth ( that the couple slept on) before the elders of the town…. If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl’s virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of the town shall stone her to death.

You see, I was horrifed when I read in a book recently the above biblical quote. Do God support the stoning of women because of their inability to prove their virginity on their wedding night?  This was not the God I knew, through his son Jesus Christ. I am not well versed in the Old Testament only the New. But I  believed, both Old and New were directly the inspired word of God. You couldn’t leave bits out and say, “well, Man said that and not God”

I thought how I can have a friend who supports the stoning of women for something so unreasonable and antiquated. Many women’s hymen is broken long before their first sexual intercourse encounter by all sorts of ways that would have been relevant centuries ago. Horse riding is one set example. This proof seems insane to me. And the sentence is in-humane and utterly cruel.  

People will immediately jump on the band-wagon and say,” Ah, but that was only relevant at the time of writing. It reflected the society that was then not now”. But then that is my next question:

 God doesn’t change his view about issues centuries down the line? The Bible is supposed to be timeless, relevant  and the word of God that apples to today, just like it did yesterday. Or doesn’t that apply now, in this case, to Deuteronomy 22:13-21? 

I am now very confused. This passage was new to me. And I don’t think much to God, if he says do this to women. He is certainly not my friend anymore!!!!

I want to continue these thoughts with another blog. But for now this is suffice. I want to see if someone can explain this away. For me, he/she will have to be a very clever, biblical scholar to argue successfully the reason that statement is in the Bible, which if not the direct word of God is inspired from a Deity I thought I knew but clearly don’t????

Swans

I was lucky enough to see Mathew Bourne’s production of Swan Lake at the Saddler’s Wells theatre this last Sunday.  A very different Ballet from the one I normally would see. This was a contemporary version of the old master piece set to Tchaikovsky’s wonderful music. I searched for the revised plot in the programme to find no explanation, but then I didn’t really need one. The story soon became self- explanatory.

This video is a short but good example of the reason I wanted to blog about it. I am not going to go into detail about the scenes, how powerful the Queen’s part was, how funny the girlfriend looked, or how beautiful and fresh the sets were, including the lively and colourful bar scene. Yes, a bar scene in Swan Lake- quite unheard of!

Instead, I am going to briefly describe how moved I was by the focus of the show: the swans, not women in soft white tulle but men, virile, strong, athletic and fit in white trouser-tunics covered in white feathers. Their dancing was utterly incredible and the choreography was stunning.

How they moved and swayed like birds, their grace equalled if not surpassed any female interpretation. I could not find a clip to illustrate the duet in Act 2, by the prince and the lead male swan, how it took me completely by surprise. The rhythm and style and how different it was to the usual male and female duets. No high jumps and gymnastics but I found I enjoyed it more than anything else I had ever seen. How in unison they were and how well they complimented each other; their movements and timing impeccable and precise, flowing yet exact in its technique. To me, it appeared flawless and perfect. I watched spellbound.

The dancing of men as swans in Swan Lake was new ground when this ballet first appeared back in 1995, for what was intended as a two-week season at Saddler’s wells and afterwards a UK tour. Since then the production has been revised and gone from strength to strength.

 Ballet is like an institution or a tradition that needs to re-invent itself to ensure it continued appeal and success to new audiences. The old masterpieces will remain timeless and popular in their own way to the purists of ballet lovers. But new styles and ideas of expression is needed to ensure future generations can appreciate this art form.  This production certainly did that. This ballet broke all the rules for me and entered into new waters. It was fresh and wonderful. I loved it. But the swans I loved the best.

Wembley

A short poem about our weekend trip to London to see Kasabian at Wembley Arena.

Flowing beer and flowing crowds,

plastic missiles, very loud,

Not expecting the scene on view,

loony crowds who had had a few.

The music great in its violent way,

Singing crowds and constant sway,

rivers of beer thrown into crowd,

we took a hit, well wet, not wowed.

The scene lively, jostle and bright,

we thought “oh what an unexpected  night,”

Eyes like radars scanning around,

cross looks, wet hair, and feeling drowned.

Sticky floors and sticky shoe,

many heads and hailing dew,

The lights went up and we took our leave,

The streets yet another heave.

People falling where they stood,

We hurried past where we could,

Back to quiet and safety in room,

We go back to Norfolk in rain and gloom.

What an adventure we say,

Though we’ll not repeat that particular day,

or night!

My thoughts on the some of the crowd’s behaviour at this event and it’s impact on how we felt.

Though I have to say that my daughter and the two girls with us thought the band was amazing and the whole experience an amazing time.

Goals six months on.

Six months ago, I wrote a blog about what I hoped would be my goals for the next six months and whether I had achieved or stuck to them. I wanted to simply look back and recap on what they were and the results.

• I grew some lettuce and planted some onions and carrots. The lettuce was an outstanding success and the carrots and onions are still in the ground but have grown poorly. I have not received any harvest from them. From this, I intend to lauch into tomatoes in pots next year.
• The swimming was stopped for while and my aim is to return soon. I can still swim on my back but haven’t made any further progress. However, I have had little opportunity to go into the pool over the past few weeks.
• Transition town activities kept going right on into the summer and we attended a big launch garden day and were fully active. However, since then we have stopped going for personal reasons but kept in touch with some people who still attend.
• Working on family relationships has been ongoing and only last week, since my Father had a stroke and one of my best friends diagnosed with cancer has it really sunk home how important those ties are. This is a renewed goal and one which will have even more focus in the next coming few months.
• The history of the arts pursuit had a lazy start but has probably been one of the most significant goals achieved. Having seen the series Desperate Romantics, concerning the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood, I then went on to visit the Laing Art Gallery in Newcastle in August where Isabella and the Pot of Basil by William Holman Hunt was exhibited and then to the Tate British to see more of the whole brotherhood’s work. I read the book accompanying the TV series by Franny Moyle, and then visited the Fitzwilliam museum to see a Darwin exhibition of art. This was excellent.
• I have made some progress on the gardening and am trying desperately to still decorate the house. This is due to start any day but illness from the summer and other busy events has meant it just hasn’t happened.
• My relationship with money is still fraught more times than not, but I have continued to save and are financially “better off” than I  was six months ago. I try not to worry about money so much but still feel that my finances are on a constant elastic band. Just stretched out to maximum all the time with no slack. Still, have negotiated a better mortgage and hoping to cut some work hours soon.
•  I have continued to develop my English skills and had one English lesson from a friend. On the whole though, writing and blogging has had to be put to one side over the summer and I haven’t written as much as I hoped too. I want to work on that still
• I nearly got to visit FORWARD and had the AGM on the calendar and booked. But sadly my Dad had a stroke and he was the priority. I still haven’t made it there yet and this was the third year running something had come along to stop me going. This is disappointing. I plod one with my efforts in my causes. But I am now running and hope to raise money next year for charity by taking part in the GEAR race in King’ Lynn.
• The photography is coming along, all be it a bit slow. However, the arrival of Photoshop and a mate to help me out with it has been invaluable. The photos are starting to progress and I did have a wonderful photo shoot with my Sister-in-Law  in the summer.

So there you have it. I don’t think it’s too bad at all. Some success at least. And a very worthwhile exercise to do this was. There has been one more significant thing to tell, and that is I have enrolled to study with the Open University next year.

I will now think about my next set of goals for the next six months. Know what some of them are already, like changing my job. Let’s see how they shape up.